Home Page - Encouragers4Seniors.InfoHome Page - Encouragers4Seniors.Info
I want to show my deep respect, gratitude and affection to the hundreds of elderly I have met in my life, especially during my position as pastor, chaplain, and nurses aide.
I have done thorough research on aging, suffering, pain and griefing, dying and death, Alzheimers and memory impairments and have written several papers on these subjects. I have been an advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association/Cleveland branch for many years now and am continuing my studies further into Geriatrics as a Geriatric care Specialist.
Many of these elderly have made a long lasting impression on my life that has shaped me into the person I am at present. Over 20 years, I have developed a great compassion for them while I worked and walked with them. They shared with me their joy, but also their losses, their victories in life, but also their frustrations, their compassions and their bitterness, their sorrow and their tears, and their day by day experiences from the past and now.
The souls of the elderly are very familiar to me. I've met them where they are as I jumped into their world, I've touched them faces as I held their hand, rubbed their back, listened to their stories, even laughed and cried with them. I've dried their tears and I've prayed with many of them. Only God knows what I have seen, heard and experienced with the elderly.
(names have been changed to protect the privacy of the person in the stories below)
One day I was walking with Mr. Jones down the hall of our Long term facilty.
He was an elderly man of about 84 years old, who was slightly confused. He
was holding the railing with one hand and with the other he was hanging onto
my hand. We were on our way to the dining room when he asked me what cruiser
line this was. Right away I caught on that the railing in the hall reminded
him of a cruising ship he had been on at one time. I didn't want to interrupt
his memories and said to him: "So... and what kind of cruiser were you
on?" He then told me all about his trip to Europe. By then we had arrived
at the dining room where we sat down at his table. He was still holding my
hand and his on the table, while quietly looking outside. After a while of
sitting there holding hands, I carefully pulled my hand away, as I needed to
get other things done. He looked at me with big eyes and said: "You're
not going yet, are you? You're not leaving me here alone?" Something got
caught in my throat as I heard him plead, and I realized how much he needed
my company. My eyes started to swell when I finally got the words out: "I
will be back in a few minutes."
You may not realize that most patients/residents in the Nursing Home or the Home for the Aged, have no more privacy other than a draw curtain between beds. They even have no place to cry. They have to give up their familiar surroundings, their keepsakes, their personal treasures and pets to come to these places. The abrupt losses that they suffer are tremendous. They are stripped overnight of nearly everything, including neighbors and friends. No wonder they wet their pants, because they have become disoriented and confused and therefore cannot find the bathroom. No wonder some of them cling onto last years Christmas cards, for it is ALL they have. Please, NEVER clean up their drawers or throw anything away without their knowledge and approval. Rather, place yourself in their shoes and show empathy and love. The elderly need love, understanding and some special attention to compensate for all they have lost.
One afternoon, I was performing communion services in a nursing home. After the services, I did some room visits to give communion to those who were sick and could not attend. As I walked into Mary’s room, Mary asked me to cut her fingernails. I said to her that her nails were recently cut. She responded with: "Don't nails still keep on growing a bit after one dies?" I said: "Yes, they do, but what has this to do with your nails?" Well, she said, I think I'm going to die soon. By then I walked to the door of her room and closed it as I felt she wanted to talk more about it. In the mean time I got the clippers out of my pocket and while I was doing her nails we conversed about her soon coming death. I introduced her to the Gift of God and eternal life through Jesus Christ. She was receptive and I then read to her Psalm 23, The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. I prayed with her and Mary died within 48 hours.
When I walked into Mr. Jones' room he waved his hand and called me to come over. Mr. Jones, who was over 90 years old, was sitting in his chair. He was immobile. He said to me: "Nurse will you look in to that closet and see if my boots and my heavy winter coat are in there?" He continued: "I have asked the other nurses but nobody ever looked for me. They keep on telling me that I don't need them, but I would love to know if they're in the closet." Since I had learned that all behavior is meaningful, I wondered what was behind Mr. Jones' request. I walked to the closet and found his boots and heavy coat. While holding them both up high I said: " You mean these, Mr Jones"? "Yes, yes", he replied, " Oh, I'm so glad you did find them, now I can be at peace."
When I inquired what Mr. Jones wanted to do with his boots and coat, he told me that he wanted to be sure they were in the closet just in case his brother's cows got lost he could help him round them up and bring them back to the farm. -- I thought to myself: "So much for reality therapy." -- We had a nice chat about all the farm animals he raised. After, I gave him a piece of paper and a pen and asked him if he could write down all the animals that he had on his farm. He looked up at me and stared into my eyes as if he was saying: "Do you really mean this?" After a pause he swallowed, kind of smiled and said: "I haven't written for years, I'm not sure if I can still write." Mr. Jones tried and scribbled something on the paper, which I couldn't read. A piercing pain went through my soul. I realized that he had been socially abandoned. I gave Mr. Jones a glass of water and I had to leave his room, because I had difficulty composing myself. My heart cried as I thought: "Such is the life of the elderly."
(memo from a Christian Nurse)
I had a real revival going on when I worked the evening shifts. One night, after
I put some familiar older Hymns on the tape deck, God's Spirit fell on some
of the Long-Term Care patients in such a way that I had to close the door to
their room, for they were "loudly" praising God. The head nurse,
not knowing what was going on, asked me if she needed to give some of the patients
a needle to keep them calm. "No, that's okay, I can handle them",
was my reply, and I said quietly to myself: "HALLELUJAH, PRAISE GOD!"
Many of these patients have been starving for spiritual food and were neglected by family and their pastor. People often think because the patient is confused she doesn't need to hear about God's word. How wrong they are. I can testify that even the most confused patient will respond to God's word, Hymns and the love of God distributed by other believers. I have even seen them come out of confusion as God's word brought freedom to them that are trapped in a decaying body and mind.
Note: I WOULD LOVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS AT THE FACILITY WHERE I WORK!
Dear friend, my work became my Mission for God and not one day passed or I proclaimed the name of the Lord in word or in song, touching the lives of many elderly I pray. Please, remember when you look at them that they're not only "old", but that they carry within them their childhood, teenage years and adult life. All these years of accumulated experiences, good and bad, are enclosed in this one person, the elderly. They are young and old at the same time, NOT just old.
Many of them suffer in silence and are withdrawn. It has become hard for them to express their feelings to others. They have lost interest in and the need for their peer group. The elderly are the least homogeneous group of all other age groups. Many are dying alone and without God. Although they may have been Church goers at one time, not all know Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. And they that are believers often have not been stimulated in their faith, due to spiritual negligence.
If you do go and visit the elderly at their home, nursing home or hospital, allow them time to gain their confidence in you. After they come to trust you, please, make sure you share with them the love of God and His word. You'll soon find out how hungry they are and how much they have been starved of spiritual food.
How successful an individual adjusts to aging depends on many factors which influence one's life. Throughout our lifespan there are developmental processes by which we change or alter our behavior and thought life. Time and experience are our teachers!!
With the right stimulation and the positive attitude from our parents and the environment we lived in, we will have learned to solve problems and to adjust in the developmental stages, from infancy to early childhood. Through continuous experiences and interactions with people around us we will have adjusted or maladjusted to the next developmental stages of teenage, adolescence, adulthood, middle age and old age.
We react differently now to situations than we did when we were children. We (supposed to) have learned how to react appropriately; how to behave and not misbehave; how to listen; how to obey etc...
Romans 3:23....For all have sinned, and come short of the Glory of God.
Circumstances differ for each individual, but all can share the same experience;
as they cry out to God in their need, He hears and answers. And all have
equal cause to praise Him. Read ALL of Psalm 107.
Psalm 107:1-2.... Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so,
Verses 5+6....Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them out of their distresses.
Verses:20+21....He sent His Word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions. Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, and for His wonderful works to the children of men!
You may say... well that is easier said than done...or....if you just knew
what I had gone through....or... maybe you did have a better life than I had......or....I
have nobody who really loves me....etc..etc. That may all be well and true,
but God is the SAME.
He has not changed ?
Psalm 56:22.... Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He
shall never permit the righteous to be moved.
What He did for Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Peter, Paul and even for me, HE will
do for you. Please, read my "Testimony", then you can see for yourself
that my life was not all that desirable. But, what He says in His Word He will
do. You have to believe His promises and you have to be obedient to the Word!!!
No matter the circumstances, He can do the IMPOSSIBLE.
Praise His wonderful Name!!!
Psalm 16:8-11.... I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoices; My flesh also will rest in hope. For You will not leave my soul in Sheol (the abode of the dead). Nor will You allow Your Holy One to see corruption. You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 17: 7b.... Oh You who save those who trust in You from those who rise up against them.
Psalm 39:4-5.... Lord, make me to know my end, and what is the measure of my days, that I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, and my age is as nothing before You.
Let us focus more and more on things that really matter in this life. Keep a continuous contact with God, the Father, through Jesus Christ. Learn to lean on His word, apply it to your life and pass it on to them around you. Be a mirror of God's word and may people reflect themselves in it. Have your roots deep in God as a mature tree, stable and unmovable. Rejoice in your God, and Maker and enjoy His word as is written below.
Psalm 100-4... Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust.
Proverbs 16:31....The silver-haired head is a crown of glory, if it is found in the way of righteousness.
Proverbs 17:6.... Children's children are the crown of old men, and the glory of children is their father.
Proverbs 20:29b.... And the splendor of old men is their gray head.
Joel 2:28b.... Your old men shall dream dreams.
1 Peter 5:6-7....Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
Titus 2:2-3....That the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things.
As you grow older your mind takes you into the past - to the good old days. You were full of energy then and you tackled things you would consider now impossible. You never thought about retiring or old age.
Psalm 90: 12.... So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Not for the sake of tallying them up, but rather to live each day to the fullest in the Presence of the Most High. Number your days and count your blessings and thank God for every single one of them.
Psalm 91:9-11.... Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor shall any plague come near your dwelling; For He shall give His angels charge over you, to keep you in all your ways.
Psalm 91: 14-16.... "Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation".
Psalm 92:13-14.... Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God. They shall still bear fruit in old age; They shall be fresh and flourishing, to declare that the Lord is upright.
The following prayer of an elderly lady is worth re-peating:
"
Lord, Thou knowest I am growing older.
Keep me from the idea that I must express myself on every subject.
Release me from the craving to meddle in everyone's affairs.
Keep my tongue from recital of endless details of the past which do not
interest others. Seal my lips when I'm inclined to talk about my aches and pains.
They are increasing with the years, and my love to speak of them grows
sweeter as time goes by. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally
I may be wrong. Make me thoughtful, but not interfering; helpful, but not bossy.
With the wisdom and experience I've gained, it does seem a pity not
to use it all, but thou knowest, Lord that I want a few friends left at the end.
So help me pray more, talk less. And beyond all this, let me continue to
flourish spiritually and bring forth fruit to Thy glory even in old age. Amen!"
(To go back to the top, click on any bar.)
Let me grow lovely growing old as many fine things do.
For silks, ivory and gold need not be always new;
and there is healing in old trees, old streets a glamour hold.
So why not I, as well as they, grow lovely growing old?
Dear friend, I come to realize more and more my own aging and mortality. And as I see my life passing by before my own eyes, I want to do even more before I'm gone. Ten years will fly by like nothing. I can hardly believe how many years have gone by and it made me somehow sad to know that so many people have died without knowing that Jesus is Lord. Sorry, but I'm weeping and stirred in my soul. I can't help it. I'm hurt by thinking about all these souls and the pain that so many have, and about the time that will never return. Yesterday is gone... it's gone. Oh, God use me in an even more powerful way. Send them Lord, use me and this website in a greater power, I pray, for Your glory and to bring Your Light to a people lost in sin and in darkness. AMEN !!
Galatians 6:2
"
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ"
LEV. 19:32
You shall rise before the gray headed and honor the presence of an old man,
and fear your God: I am the Lord.
ISAIAH 46:4
Even to your old age, I am He, And even to gray hairs I will carry you! I have
made, and I will bear; Even I will carry, and will deliver you.
(all scriptures are from the New King James version)
© 2004 Encouragers4Seniors.Info
Layout and hosting by Apex Web Solutions.